Being In Love
I've been saved for over 20 years. Doesn't seem possible, does it? Whether that's from my still-immaturity or just because that sounds so "old" and I never consider myself old. But, this just proves that life is continuing on and every day I get the opportunity to sit at the foot of the Cross
I remember when I got saved: it was in the old, old sanctuary. You know the one I mean? Blue carpet, seventies-styled-windows, and the place I claim I was "born in the front row" (that's my good excuse for being lulled to sleep by preaching for years following). I remember the shiny, tall stack of communion cup trays being taken apart and my dad explaining to the congregation what it was symbolic for. But, on my level - being 5 years old and all - my mom leaned over with a small piece of bread and a little cup of juice and explained, in a way I could comprehend, what this "bread and cup" meant. My mom, wearing turquoise (if my memory serves me right) and 4 more children sitting around her, took the time to ask if I knew why I needed this Savior in my life and then prayed with me for Him to become The Lord of my life.
But that was so long ago and so much life has happened since then. I've sinned a lot more - much "worse sins" than I had committed at the age of five. My heart has wandered to and fro - my focus constantly needing refocusing. Surely now, I need a Savior much bigger. So much sin requires a bigger sacrifice, right?
Wrong.
He covered me then and He covers me now. He remains the same, while I am the one who changes. Hopefully, I am changing more and more into the person He wants me to be. But, even on my worst day, He remains the same.
What I constantly need more of is the revelation that I am desperate for Him. The same need as when I was 5 and I quietly bowed my head and prayed a quiet prayer with no one but my Mom and God to hear.
I was contemplating a new person in our church. She shows such a beautiful and unguarded need of Jesus in her life. She has beautiful kids, a big house, a husband who works hard... But she is desperate for Jesus and it shows. And it's the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. And it's the most convicting view to behold.
A return to my First Love is a daily renewal. A fresh commitment to serve Him, to seek for Him and to know Him. He saved me when I was 5 and He won't give up on me till the day I die. He will continue to transform me as I continue to yield.
I remember when I got saved: it was in the old, old sanctuary. You know the one I mean? Blue carpet, seventies-styled-windows, and the place I claim I was "born in the front row" (that's my good excuse for being lulled to sleep by preaching for years following). I remember the shiny, tall stack of communion cup trays being taken apart and my dad explaining to the congregation what it was symbolic for. But, on my level - being 5 years old and all - my mom leaned over with a small piece of bread and a little cup of juice and explained, in a way I could comprehend, what this "bread and cup" meant. My mom, wearing turquoise (if my memory serves me right) and 4 more children sitting around her, took the time to ask if I knew why I needed this Savior in my life and then prayed with me for Him to become The Lord of my life.
But that was so long ago and so much life has happened since then. I've sinned a lot more - much "worse sins" than I had committed at the age of five. My heart has wandered to and fro - my focus constantly needing refocusing. Surely now, I need a Savior much bigger. So much sin requires a bigger sacrifice, right?
Wrong.
He covered me then and He covers me now. He remains the same, while I am the one who changes. Hopefully, I am changing more and more into the person He wants me to be. But, even on my worst day, He remains the same.
What I constantly need more of is the revelation that I am desperate for Him. The same need as when I was 5 and I quietly bowed my head and prayed a quiet prayer with no one but my Mom and God to hear.
I was contemplating a new person in our church. She shows such a beautiful and unguarded need of Jesus in her life. She has beautiful kids, a big house, a husband who works hard... But she is desperate for Jesus and it shows. And it's the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. And it's the most convicting view to behold.
A return to my First Love is a daily renewal. A fresh commitment to serve Him, to seek for Him and to know Him. He saved me when I was 5 and He won't give up on me till the day I die. He will continue to transform me as I continue to yield.
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